Beau-T and the beast.

Picture it, last night after 1:00 a.m., I am sound asleepwhen John comesto bed in his t-shirt, tighty whitey's and socks. John Heinbuch comes to bed and I sleep through it, an all out miracle. Moments aafter John has climbed in to bed, I realize he is taking his shirt off. I find this odd since he always wears a t-shirt to bed unless he thinks he has a chance of getting lucky. So, I saw all of this out of the corner of a sleepy and fall back to sleep. THis morning John was bragging about how I allowed to him to snuggle next to me and he was so happy that he took that shirt off thinking he may get some action. Hello, I was asleep. By now the man should knowthat the second his rough, long, itchy leg hairs touch me I would throw him out. If I do not wake up, cry rape, or something of that nature I will not be the active participant you are looking for.

Proper Context

It has come to my attention that there is a crusade to end the use of the "R" word. How about if we redefine its meaning. My son Jacob, as you may know, has Down's syndrome and would be labeled retarded by some. I ask you this, if my son is performing to the best of his mental capabilities, does that make him retarded? I can think of several people who know better but do stupid stuff anyway and to me that is the true meaning of retarded. For example, a person who drives drunk and knows better but does it anyway, is retarded. Mentally he/she knows it is the wrong thing to do but still gets behind the wheel. Heck, just the other day I stopped at a green light and I felt retarded. I think the label should be earned not granted due to defect. There is nothing retarded about a person who is doing the best they can with what God has given them.

Mama Claus...BUSTED!

As I was sitting in the living room I hear Emily yelling something from the front door. She runs in to see me shaking a piece of paper and angrily screaming, "I know why Santa did not bring me the cookie baker I asked for! Why didn't you mail this letter? I specifically asked for a cookie baker, why didn't you send this!" Trying desperately not to laugh I told her we took the letter and faxed it to Santa so that he would get it faster. Who would have thunk her own mother would almost let the cat out of the bag. Put another quarter in the piggy bank reserved for counseling.

HItler's Rule Is Over, In Case You Hadn't Heard

I have been ordered by the gastoppo, a.k.a. my husband, to discontinue my writing. I suppose if he were sweet and remotely charming that I may asquiesce to his request but since he is more of a pain in the ass I will continue to relieve the anger that builds through writing. I did ask him what in our 12 year relationship would lead him to believe that I may allow him to control me and he looked at me with the typical blank look that comes over him when he can not find an answer among the cobwebs surrounding his brain. It reminds me of Beaker from the Muppets actually, only it was easy to like Beaker since he hardly spoke. Now I understand that John is not much of a talker but good lord more times than not you would like him to shut it. Hey, here is a thought, sweetheart, maybe if you could conform to some type of normalcy, I will lose my inspiration and have nothign to write. Just a thought...

KinderWhore No More

My daughter informed me today that Blake, her friend on the school bus, has asked her to marry him when they are older. They are waiting until he has a good job, thank God for that!! I hope that I do not need to have a talk with her about the birds and the bees for a LONG time. I am glas to see that she is going to settle down and I am looking forward to grandchildren. Oh, the payback I have planned.

Christmas 2009

Another year has passed at an unbelieve pace. When I was a kid, I remember the grown ups saying how fast time was going and now I get it. It is going way too fast!

We have had an incredibly busy year this year. Jacob keeps us running from one doctor appointment to another. I must say though that I am impressed with the team that watches out for him. He has learned to sit finally and he has mastered winking which he seems to save for pretty ladies and his momma. We walked with him in his first Buddy Walk for Downs Syndrome in September and I must say as his mother it was very therapuetic. It is truly amazing what these kids can accomplish. He truly a blessing.

Emily continues to be a good source of entertainment. She started Kindergarten this year and is sure to tell us what every child did during the day that was "naughty". Of course, she leaves any part that she had played in the wrong-doing. She has a sassy little attitude that I must say she needs to live in this house and thankfully she keeps it to herself whe she is out in public. She says she knows better than to misbehave in front of others. So everyons thinks she is a sweet angel, which she is some of the time. Her and Jacon had pictures taken at Hoffbeck Photography in Hastings and the company put her picture in the window. This was the "best thing ever" since she intends on beoming "America's Next Top Model".

John spent the year farming and keeping the beer companies in business. He seems to be at his happiest when he is bobbing around on the tractor. I have learned not to interupt him as it has a similar affect as waking a sleep walker. He and Jacob have become good buddies and he is deeply saddened that Emily is in school. I know it is hard for him because he really only sees her on the weekends. He seems to be getting used to the idea that she is growing up but he is still dreading the day she moves away.

I am still not running about too much after ankle surgery. I never realized that it would take so long to heal. I did learn through the process that you should never plan a vacation over the interet while on pain killers, though. I may need to start a side business to pay for our trip to Disney World. I suppose some day when I am old, I mean older than today, I will hold on to the memory of our kids enjoyment as they experience the fun we have planned. I just hope John will recover from the cost. Since he feels sorry for me and my gimpy leg, he seems to have forgiven my spending indiscretion. He did say, however, that I could make it up to him later. Whatever that means.

Well, that is a glimpse in the life of the Heinbuchs. We hope that you have had a joyous year and that the upcoming year will bring you 365 days of happiness. There are that many days in a year, right? Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

Poor Dumb Thing

I was boiling the leftover turkey to make into soup for supper this evening when my husband came in for lunch. As always he finds something to bellow about. "How hard is to turn on the fan when you are using the stove?" he asks. I reply that it is about the same degree of difficulty as coming in and finding something to complain about. I mean really, when someone is nice enough to cook for you can't you put your smile on? Maybe just turn the fan on as you walk by perhaps. After the minor confrontation, he was able to force out a compliment about the sandwich he had just polished off so I assume he got the hint. I wonder how many times we will have this scenario before he walks in and politely sits down to lunch. I suppose it has only been 7 years, I may be asking too much.