We had to take Jacob to the hospital last night for complications due to pneumonia. Luckily, he was able to come home with us early this morning. It must be the hospital atmosphere that makes me reminisce about the birth of my children. The excitement you feel as you prepare to be a parent for the first time and then the sceond. The aniticipation of finally seeing who they will look like and just how truly maginificent they are. Then I look in the corner and see the husband snoozing in the emergency room recliner and my memories begin change. There are things you just do not do when your wife is in labor, for example:

When labor is induced and your wife is not allowed to eat for 8 hours before the I.V. drip begins, do not go to the cafeteria and eat a bacon double cheeseburger, order of onion rings, and two slices of pizza then come back to report your gluttoneous while sipping a 42 ounce soda. SHe is starving and will not be impressed.

Do not complain to the nurses that she is being too "bitchy" to you. After all, you are the one who put her in this position so SUCK IT UP!

As she is transitioning into hard labor, shut off the history channel. She does not give a rats ass about the making of the revolver. The only interest that she has in a revlover right now is the want to pull one out of her purse and shoot your face off.

When the doctor is stitching the tear that occured from forcing the grapfruit sized head out of her golf ball sized hole, do not speak the words, "That was too hard on me".

And lastly, when she is finally able to get out of bed and she has a gush of blood that soaks her socks, do not dig them out of the garbage to take home for her to wash. The least you can do is buy her a new pair to match the strecth marks your 3 minutes of fun has left behind...